Sometimes life feels like a fundraiser.
Have you ever seen those thermometer-type posters that keep track of incoming funds? You know, the kind where the thermometer keeps rising every time money is donated?
Sometimes I feel like life is one of those big thermometer posters, keeping track of all the ways I have still yet to measure up. It’s tiring. It’s frustrating. And it often seems never-ending.
Do you ever feel like you aren’t enough? You’re not a good enough daughter. You’re not a good enough wife. You’re not a good enough sister, niece, granddaughter, friend, acquaintance or worker. You’re not pretty enough, strong enough, loud enough, quiet enough, loving enough…
Basically, you just feel like you’re not enough.
You’re not alone. I bet if we were to take a poll today, we would find that most women in the world don’t feel like they are good enough for something. We all feel inadequate. We all feel “not enough” at times and moments. We all experience those doubts of our capabilities. We all feel the sliding terror of never being able to measure up.
In her book Captivating, Stasi Eldredge writes, “Every women I’ve ever met feels it-something deeper than just failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough and I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy.” The truth is, we all feel it. We all have lists of ways we feel we’re never enough.
But we can’t dwell there. Because when we dwell there, shame settles in.
Shame of who we are and who we are not. Shame of our lives as they are and shame of what they might have been. Shame over our pasts. Shame over our presents. Shame over our futures. Shame is the constant companion of never feeling enough, and the voice of the constant accuser that tells us we need to do better and, at the same time, that we will “never do better”.
Here’s truth: On your own, you are not enough. You can never meet the high standards. You can never conquer the expectations on your own. You will fall short, and you will fail.
But where you are never enough, HE IS. My friend, Jesus is enough. There are times I feel like I’m drowning in the ocean of “never enough”, and then I am gently reminded of all that my Jesus is. Where we fail, He wins. Where we lack, He makes up. Where we fall short, He exceeds. He died so that at the end of our lives, we would be enough.
And you are enough.
Just don’t pay any mind to that large thermometer-like poster in the middle of your life. It’s missing a few crucial donations.