Everybody needs a fresh start every now and then… In my life, I’ve seemed to have quite a few.
Every year around this time, I started a new year of school. It was by far my favorite time because, instead of going to the same room, seeing the same people and reviewing the same material, I got a brand new start. I felt the freedom of beginning again. I relished the blank slate that awaited me as I walked through the doors. Sometimes I even went so far to change my appearance just because I could. It was a new year, and the world was full of possibilities.
When I came back from treatment at Remuda, I was faced with new beginnings again. Unfortunately, I did not make the most of those and fell right back into the need for yet another new “beginning”.
Leaving Mercy Ministries was my next beginning. It was a time of change for the better, understanding of myself and love for others. It began the process of transformation in my life, leading me along a path to find out who I really am and what I am doing here. It was a challenging time of freedom and victory, and I treasured my chance to start anew.
Moving to Colorado was certainly a new beginning. It was a change of scenery, change of perspective and change of self. I was challenged with problems from the past. I was tempted with desires with which I had become unfamiliar. I was introduced to foreign concepts such as driving in the snow, four actual seasons and a new community of “non Southerners”.
And then I was introduced to some amazing people who have made an incredible difference in my life. One of those people being the man I now call my husband.
My last new beginning (for now) was a week and three days ago. Never would I have imagined that my wedding day would be as important as it has become. It was the day of a new journey, healing from the past and acceptance of the future. It was the day I made the change of living only for myself and choosing to instead live for and beside someone else. It was the day I realized that my place in this world was not just for me or Josh or even my family – but it was for something so much bigger.
It was for God.
Since then I’ve steadily noticed that everything is changing. This isn’t just a new season for marriage – it’s a new season in general. So many things are changing. So many dreams are starting to take form in my mind. So many long lost desires are coming to the surface, and I can see opportunities to make more of them concrete.
In the next month or so, this blog will be changing. Not only will I have the opportunity to write more regularly (like I originally intended), but I will also have the opportunity to give more of myself to it. This blog, as little as it is right now, is a dream of mine. It’s the challenge to myself to make a difference and speak honestly with the world. It’s my yearning to write something that people connect with and are challenged by. It’s my way of extending my hand to people I cannot see and helping them along.
Because in the end, that’s my desire : to help. There are a lot of causes that I am passionate about – some that I’ve personally journeyed and others that I am simply aware of. My heart’s desire is not to focus on one or the other; my desire is to help no matter what.
So wherever you may be in life at this moment – whether you are at your new beginning or still journeying through the same old same – know that your life has purpose, you have opportunities for change and you always have a second chance.